1617 home 2 oct 2026
has my inaction gone too far? and why is it only now that i am feeling this way? i guess i have before as well.
the ground squirrel has died in the trap, a slow death from starvation. i heard its cries the days before.
i could have released it
but it's digging up our foundations, mom says
i could have fed it
why didn't i? was my phone more important?
i could have driven it far and let it go
why didn't i? because i was waiting for someone else to do it?
from afar it looks like it's curled up sleeping but as i walk close i see the ground crawling underneath it and it's the ants, always the ants, and a fly has discovered it already. i crouch down to witness this preventable death of a hapless creature, preventable by me.
and as i stand, my unbearable mouse of a heart beats so hard my vision shakes with every pulse and i go to smell the golden osmanthus blooming across the garden.
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